


unzip your skin

by kamwashere



Category: Sex Education (TV)
Genre: Bi/Pan Solidarity, Bisexual Adam Groff, Bisexuality, Character Study, Gen, Implied Adam Groff/Eric Effiong, Internalized Biphobia, Light Angst, Sexuality Crisis, mentions of abuse, remember the test that ola took in 2x05?, yeah...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22334257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kamwashere/pseuds/kamwashere
Summary: Adam scratches his head. 'What the fuck is an asexual?''I think it's when you don't want to have sex.''Who the fuck doesn't want to have sex?''Asexual people, obviously.' He can almost hear Ola roll her eyes at him.-Adam takes a "sexuality test."
Relationships: Adam Groff & Ola Nyman, Eric Effiong/Adam Groff
Comments: 36
Kudos: 358





	unzip your skin

‘Huh, kinda makes sense actually.’ Ola muses, looking deep in thought as she fiddles with her phone. Adam peers through the window, casting quick glances at Ola who still has a faraway look in her face. ‘It doesn’t make sense to me.’

It didn’t, actually. It’s stupid, labels are stupid and confusing. You’re either gay or straight, that’s fucking it. Right?

With one long stride, he snatches Ola's phone from her hands. 'Let me try that,' Adam mutters. He ignores her indignant, 'Hey!' and refreshes the page. He waits for the test to load, and when it did the question, **_What is my sexuality?_ **pops out. He furrows his brows at it, mouth thinning as he reads the description:

> **This is a short quiz to help you determine how you identify sexually. Your result can either be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual or asexual. While only you can know your definitive answer, which might change over time, this quiz will help you look more deeply and clearly at your sexuality. Keep in mind that you need to answer as honestly as possible.**

Well, Adam knows only two of those terms. Three now actually, since Ola took the quiz and got pansexual. He presses _Start the quiz_ and gets started. He can feel Ola breathing down his neck but she thankfully stays quiet and didn't protest any more. The first question asks which sex has he been attracted been in the past. Instinctively, he almost clicks on the ‘Opposite sex’ option but he stops himself because that certainly wouldn’t be true at all. His mind drifts back to when he was fourteen-years-old, having just discovered his mum’s dirty magazines. Pictures of men—oiled men in every colour—some of them close enough to touch. He remembers flipping through the pages all night, his eyes obsessively taking in every skin that is bare. He remembers how it stirred heat deep in his belly, and how it spread from there to his back, and to the back of his neck, and finally, until it consumed his whole face. 

Adam tentatively checks 'Both.' He moves on to the next question.

> _Which sex do you find more physically attractive?_

On one hand, Aimee Gibbs has certainly been one of the hottest girls in school, and being hot in Moordale High is as rare as a unicorn at the end of a rainbow near a pot of gold. And she had great tits, which is always an added bonus. She also let anything happen during sex _happen_ which was… great. What else? She had great… elbows. Adam had been genuinely happy with her, and she's the first person he could almost see himself falling in love with. _Almost_. On the other hand, there is… Eric. 

Eric with his unbelievably soft and smooth skin. Eric and his snow-white smile. Eric and his strong legs, and toned thighs, which Adam's gaze always seem to be glued at during PE class. Eric looks great— there, he admits it—He always looks great, and Adam won't admit that to anyone but himself. He certainly won't admit that to Eric. He looks even better nowadays. More radiant, alive and always close enough to touch. Their late-night rendezvous are still going on, and Adam always looks forward to them. Sometimes they don't smash stuff at all, just sit closely together and… talk. And kiss. They kiss and kiss and _kiss_ , memorizing the feeling of each other's lips, breathing in each other's breath. It's refreshing; having someone who actually accepts the bullshit he has to offer. He's never felt more alive whenever he's with him. 

But it's not just Eric. He's always noticed guys since well, _forever._ Now that he thinks about it, he always enjoys looking at everyone for as long as he can remember. Girls in tank tops with their tits almost out. Guys in their swimming trunks in the pool. Anything goes really. 

Adam chooses the option that says, 'I find them equally attractive.' He hears Ola lets out a surprise exhale from behind him. Adam ignores her. He scrolls down to the next question.

> _Have you ever dated someone the same sex as you?_

'That's easy,' he mumbles, quickly pressing 'No.' He _did_ suck a boy off, and kissed the same boy countless other times but he's unsure if that counts as dating. Ola rests her chin on top of her palms, straining her neck as she continues to watch Adam as he answers the test. 

> _Do you find the opposite sex attractive?_

Of course, he does. Girls are irresistible, insatiable. He'd be an idiot not to. He presses 'Yes.

> _Do you find the same sex attractive?_

Adam pauses to think. Does he? He notices, of course but does he think they're attractive? Does he think guys with prominent jawlines look more striking? Does he think men in pubs with full beards and strong arms are impossible not to look at? Does he think guys with neon eyeliner in their eyes make the brown in their eyes pop out more? Does he think guys with light, glossy lipstick painted in their full lips make their mouth more irresistibly kissable? Possibly. 

Adam presses 'Yes' once more. He's aware of Ola fully staring at him, and that makes him look up quickly just to see her looking at him with surprised disbelief and something akin to pride. Which is impossible so he quickly looks away and returns his attention to the test.

> _Do you dream of kissing/having sex with the opposite or same sex?_

Adam groans quietly. Why are all these Goddamn questions so fucking _hard?_ He chews on his bottom lip, forehead creasing in concentration. He's always thought that sex was just that… just sex. You put your dick in a hole, you come, and _done_. It's a 50-second burst of happy hormones, and then it's over. There was a time where his body failed him and fucking just doesn't… do it for him anymore. But thanks to New Kid, he reclaimed his ability to orgasm again only for it to blow up in his face because Aimee breaks up with him anyway. Adam had chased and pined after her again and again until it just stops mattering to him anymore. 

Until Eric happened. Until giving a blowjob during detention to the boy he had bullied for years and threatening to kill him afterwards happened. It had been… different. In a good way. He didn’t mind it like he should have been, wasn’t repulsed by it like he thought he would. In fact, he had wanted… _wants_ to do it again. Adam doesn’t even mind if Eric didn’t return the favour. He just wants the thrill, the heat to return. He briefly wonders if given the opportunity, Eric would…

He shakes his head, ignoring his stupid brain. He chooses ‘Both,’ because it’s the truth, he actually still fantasizes about girls. This choice draws another surprised hum from Ola. Adam keeps half-expecting her to comment but she thankfully does not. She just leans in comfortably and lets him answer this stupid sexuality bullshit. He moves on to the next question. 

> _Who was your first love?_

Adam scoffs and with no hesitation, presses ‘I haven’t fallen in love.’

Love is a foreign concept to Adam. His father is a grade A arsehole. He has virtually no friends. None of his relationships last long enough. It’s probably his fault anyway—of course it’s his fault. Love did nothing for him but build walls around him, tie a rope around his neck, and leaves his body to rot. For him, love is unfamiliar and unaccustomed, but not unwelcome. Some pathetic, sad part of him still hopes that someday, somehow the day would come where he didn’t fuck anything up and his Dad would look at him with something other than disgust in his eyes. He still hopes that someday he’ll find someone, settle down, have kids and a dog, and live in their white picket fence in a nice cul-de-sac. 

It’s a stupid fantasy. Because he’s stupid, no surprises there. 

A customer pushes the door open, disturbing the bell. They both jump at the sound, receiving a strange look from the customer. 

> _Have you ever been in a solid relationship?_

That would be a big, fat no. Aimee had been the closest thing he had to a stable relationship, and he obviously mucked that up. This takes Adam back to having his first ever girlfriend. Her name was Niamh… he thinks. She had brown, curly hair and braces. She gave him a handjob or rather, tried to. Niamh squeezed his poor dick so much, he couldn't wank for a day. Which, for a thirteen-year-old the worst thing in the entire world. 

The customer looks around for awhile, then leaves. Probably weirded out by the two of them. Ola gently places the scanner and goes back to looking boredly at Adam as he answers.

> _What is your opinion on homosexuality?_

Adam freezes, his pointer finger suspended mid-air. His mind winds back to 7th grade, young Adam Groff was fresh-faced and arrogant, feeling like he could take on the world. Enter Eric Effiong; flamboyant, wears nail polish, _exuding_ with gay. Naturally, Adam clings to him like a moth to a flame. He teases him nonstop, corners him as much as possible, crows in laughter whenever Eric had this terrified look in his pudgy little face. Adam pulled Eric's metaphorical pigtails, maybe a little too hard. His old friend, shame pools in his gut—

'Oi, Adam?' Ola jabs his shoulder with a finger, looking at him weirdly. Adam jerks his head towards her. Something must show in his face because her expression quickly soften. He looks away and focuses on the test. He chooses, 'I tolerate it.' 

And finally, he gets to the last question:

> _What do you think your sexuality is?_

He drops the phone on the counter. 

'How the fuck am I supposed to know?' Adam grumbles, 'I thought the damn test would tell me.'

Ola stares at him, 'I thought you were straight?' 

Adam stares back and falters. He picks up Ola's phone again. 'Maybe I'm not,' he mutters, his heart bursting from his chest. He had actually said it out loud. A jolt of fear spikes from his chest and down the pit of his stomach. 

He's so fucking afraid. Adam's terrified all the time. He wishes he wasn't, he wishes he could just _man the fuck up, stop being a sissy_ , but he can't. He's afraid of his dad, he's afraid of losing this job, he's afraid of not going back to school, he's afraid of hurting Eric again, he's afraid of growing up and still be the fuck-up that he is right now. He wishes he was different. He wishes he was better. He _wants_ to be better. But he's not sure if that is something he could actually attain, much less deserve. 

Ola stands on her tiptoes and puts her arm around his shoulder, empathetic and understanding. She leans her head on his arm, as if saying that _it's alright, we're going to go through this together._ Adam lets her. 

'What do you think I should pick?' 

'Haven't got a clue. Which do you feel more in these options?'

The options are heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual or asexual. Adam scratches his head. 'What the fuck is an asexual?' 

'I think it's when you don't want to have sex.'

'Who the fuck doesn't want to have sex?' 

'Asexual people, obviously.' He can almost hear Ola roll her eyes at him. 

Adam groans, feeling more annoyed than nervous. 'Whatever.' He presses, 'Homosexual.'

The page loads again and he chews at his cuticle, waiting rather impatiently. His eyes burn staring at the circle going around in the middle of the screen until—

_You are bisexual. This means that you are attracted to both sexes._

Adam stares at the screen.

‘Well, there you go,’ Ola whispers softly.

Bisexual. Attracted to both sexes. He is bisexual. He is attracted to both sexes. Adam Groff is bisexual. 

He stutters out a sigh, returning Ola’s phone and wordlessly returns to his previous spot, staring at the window. His heart thumps as this particular information sinks in. Well, that explains some things. He still feels scared as fuck, but liberated somehow.

Adam's first instinct is to tell Eric. Which sounds crazy, he _knows_ but what's crazier is how hugely and profoundly Eric became a constant in his life. Or maybe he always was, and he just wasn't aware of it. He wants... he wants to always talk to Eric, about everything that goes in his shitty life because he's probably the only one who gives a shit, except maybe his mum. He wants to hold his hands, perhaps in public—

—Adam allows himself to think it. He allows himself to agree with it. He lets himself be it. He lets himself imagine Adam Groff as someone who could be unashamed and unabashed for one slightly selfish second.

Maybe two.

**Author's Note:**

> title is from human by dodie
> 
> this was the [test](https://www.allthetests.com/quiz31/quiz/1410463821/What-is-your-sexuality) that adam took. it's obviously not the test ola took but i chose one who looked closer in the show :')
> 
> disclaimer: sexuality tests are probably not valid, so please please don't trust them??? you shouldn't rely on tests regarding your identity. but in some cases, it might be helpful to learn more esp when you're questioning. 
> 
> so uh, season 2 was amazing????????? endgame effoff baby! highkey had a mini breakdown because adam's character development was so good and satisfying. the writers did a really good job breaching the subject of the cycle of abuse. they didn't diminish the fact that adam bullied eric, even letting eric stand up for himself. they also let adam be more accepting of his identity. effoff isn't rushed at all and i'm so happy they gave these two a chance :") 
> 
> ALSO ADAM AND OLA ARE BI/PAN ICONS AND I LOVE THEM AAAAAAA;;;;
> 
> God i love adam groff so much yall,,,,,,, <3
> 
> anyways, i hope you enjoyed reading this! pls leave a kudos and/or comment uwu
> 
> come scream about effoff/adam groff with me on [tumblr!](https://kamwashere.tumblr.com)


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